the line that divides me somewhere in my mind ;

It's been a while since I've last posted, hasn't it? Well I'm sorry to say I don't have a whole lot of report. I guess I'll pick up from my last post.

I got over the pity party I was throwing for myself and headed to four O's for a bit. I spent the first three nights in a luxurious king sized hotel room generously provided for by Fabio. Needless to say this was a very well spent weekend, on both parts. The bed and shower was also put to good use. Afterward I spent three days at my bother Bill's house outside of town where he lives with his girlfriend, Kenzie. I found this immensely amusing and a very good time. We watched movies, played Scrabble, and fed the raccoons that live in his backyard! There's a mother and three babies, I had a great time fooling around with them. After this I spent the rest of the week with my friend Shannon out in the boonies. This went well aside from her constant attitude problem with her parents, leaving me stuck in the middle of them. I had to make a trip to the local hospital, though, because my throat infection had returned. I was given antibiotics and it cleared up fairly quickly. After Shannon's I was back with Fabio, living in his car for the weekend. It's not quite as bad as it sounds though. I semi ruined things though as I had a cry session in the car after Ice Age Three. Going in we had seen the Canadian flag at half mast. I've known a lot of men who've gone over seas, sadly most of them did not come home. A sinking feeling began to grow in the pit of my stomach. This was precisely why I never wanted to get involved with anyone in the military. The "what if it was.." scenario began to play out. So by the end of the movie I was all tears and sentiments. Needless to say, I made an ass of myself. I couldn't even quite explain to Fabio why it upset me so. I don't think it's something you can really explain, it's something you have to feel. I wouldn't be able to make him understand no matter how hard I tried. How is it I managed to find myself falling so hard for him so fast anyway? I'm usually as guarded as anything.. Strange. He's special though, he's more than any of the other assholes I was with, maybe that's why. All of a sudden I can't picture life without him.. I love that crazy boy.

So anyway, after this I returned home. Things here have been okay but there's a lot of money stress and my parents have taken to ignoring me again. Fan-freaking-tastic. Aside from that, I do have one minor incident to report; a single blemish on my feelings the past two weeks or more. I shall not mention names in case a certain someone should come across this and lose his/her temper, but I received a "Interested" on Are You Interested on Facebook. Yes, this seems very minor indeed and a trifle matter but it meant something to me because it was from one of the ex's. One that I had remained best friends with until one fight over some expensive jewelry he failed to return to me. Anyway, it gave me a mild cardiac arrest and I may have forgotten to breath for a few seconds. That's the last thing in the world I needed to see. I promptly shut Facebook. No, I'm not "interested" in him still. I did not, however, want to know he's still interested in me. The hurt there was too intense and complicated, I'd rather just completely forget that chapter of life.

So this is what has been going on in my life lately. Not overly interesting, but a nice break from the usual chaos. Just thought I'd write a positive post for a change, I'm not all negativity. I'm off for the night though, peacee.