i remember every whispered word ;

So the weekend wasn't quite as good as I expected. Thrusday night I got stood up for two hours by a drunken son of a bitch. Friday was okay expect Allie was on oxy and freaked right out and left and I was seriously scared she was going attack me in my sleep, since I stayed the night there. Ryan invited me to cab my way North to stay at his apartment, but I would have felt bad leaving poor Evan, he was really upset. Allie doesn't deserve him, she treats him like crap. Aside from Allie the night was really fun. Katelynn and I were dancing up a storm with Ryan and Cory and I really like her, she's really down to earth. The night wasn't a complete failure. So then Saturday I slept most of the day away and didn't really do anything at all. Yesterday, Sunday, the family came over for Thanksgiving dinner. That was really good. Addyson is so cute! She's seven weeks old now, and I had claim of her most of the night; feeding her, changing her, ect ecct. I love her! She's so adorable! Then Cory ditched me for hang outs, which sucked. Tonight I'm supposed to go over to Marcel's but I'm waiting for a call from him 'cause I have no clue where he leaves, just that it's West. Kyle texted me today too. Apparently that's the second friend I've lost in the past two months. Great.

I'm feeling kind of lonely today. All these people just keep yelling at me and leaving. Not sure why, but, that's life I guess. Got to keep moving on, right? I'm trying to keep a positive outlook the past month. No sense staying sad over something I can't change. I still miss the people who walk out all the same. Well here's some quotes while I wait for my ride.

"I'll remember you though, just like I remember everyone that leaves." << means a lot to me. i don't forget you, ever. no matter if you leave.

"Every day you are gone is more lonesome than the last."

"I know I'm to blame but it kills me that I made you hate me. It's like you've erased me but you said you loved me. I know what they say; they say you'll be happier, better off without me. I know I'm to blame."

"Just because you can spell love doesn't mean you should say it so much."

"I've become exactly what I swore I'd never be."

"I know I could be better, one more chance is all I need. I gave you my heart, I gave you too many second chances, where's mine; where's mine?"

"The biggest secret I know is that there is beauty everywhere; you just have to know where to look."

"I still believe we're meant to be together.. you idiot."

"It's sad when people to know become people you knew."

"You know you're gonna miss this as long as you live."

"But people are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out."

"Smile."


So here I am again, editing. I felt like writing, perhaps I'll feel better. I don't feel too bad, really, just kind of lonely tonight. It's sad how many people are now trying to get in my pants since I'm single, and not one of them wants to get to know me. They just want sex. Men suck; do they even have hearts?

"Phone numbers floated around the inside of her bag, rustling with the jar of her step as she went to meet the next one on the list. It always seemed to be getting longer, she though ironically. A sigh escaped her lips as the cold wind blew her hair around her face, blurring her vision. Through the chestnut strands she could distinguish the figure of a boy approaching. Her head was still beating with last night's alcoholic buzz, but she vaguely recognized who it was. He waved and smiled smuggly; he knew she would show up. She always came crawling back. He took her cold hand in his and led her into the dark shrubbery off the main road. She fell on her knees, a practiced step, and choked back the tears and the panic bubbling up in her stomach. This was wrong, so wrong. She was becoming exactly what she swore she would never be, and she knew it. Another part of her, the bitter part, the experienced part, was hissing venom in her mind. Who would care, who would help? No one. Because no one would ever learn what she had become. A filthy whore."

I'm working on an important piece, I'll start posting it once I get more of it done.