i don't want this to be the end of us ;

I love this song dearly. It's called Weekend Apologies by Thriving Ivory, whom I adore.

"I don't wanna know what they said about what you did last night on the town when you had a little much to drink.
I promised myself I wouldn't catch you if I could; leave it on a grey ending and new beginning and hope it goes away.
She closes her eyes and says one more drink to ease the pain; just to get it off my mind.
And I apologize before I drink tonight.
It was about a year ago this time when things were lookin good.
Got caught in the moment and didn't look too far ahead; but it's not unusual for someone like myself to cross the line.
I caused so much fucked up shit; it was about a month ago it got a little out of hand."

Anyway, I'm doing sort of okay today. I I talked to Allie and made plans for Saturday night. We're gonnA go shopping after work then get ready at her place then hit the bars with Evan, Ryan, probably John. I don't know who's going for sure yet, but we're definitely going. It should be fun.

In relationship news, I know I can't let go of him. I love him too damn much and I don't want to lose the most important person in my life. We'll work through it. We're both too stubborn to give up. But my trust issues are welling up; when I'm hurt I need extreme amounts of reassurance, and I don't think he knows just how much I need. But I do. I'm a horrible girlfriend, aren't I? Ugh. I love Fabio so much, it would kill me to lose him. Of course I saw a copy of the military paper on the coffee table this morning, with an article on a dead soldier, and I went into panic mode again. It's a good thing he's worth the trouble. Most of the time. Except when he doesn't shower. Lil piggy. Anyway... I miss him a lot but I'm glad he gets to see his family, they seem pretty close knit. Gotta envy that, better than my bullshit family, kinda jealous, hehe. Well I just hope we can have a good time when he gets back. Maybe he'll call tonight; I hope so. I think he took it the wrong way yesterday when I told him not to call that evening, but I just wasn't in the mood to talk on the phone you know? Well that's about all my news, later Blog.